How to Break Free from the Clutches of being an Introvert or Extrovert?

How to Break Free from the Clutches of being an Introvert or Extrovert?

Arijeet Dey, one of my team members from the SEO team, requested me to share my thoughts on this question. How to break free from the clutches of being an introvert or extrovert? I asked him the reason of such topic and he said due to the pandemic and the lockdown, some people have started thinking of themselves as introverts, especially since the social life is all ruined. What does that mean? Does it mean that they had never reflected on it before and thought themselves as quite outward person and due to the lockdown, in the absence of going out they have started feeling like an introvert?

Let us try having a look at why is there a big fuss about being an introvert or extrovert in the first place. Generally speaking, it is due to the shades attached to the 2 words. Introverts are usually seen as people who don’t speak much and do not readily express themselves. They are, therefore, seen as people who are low on confidence. Extroverts, on the other hand, are viewed as much outgoing and confident people. They are considered bold and with a lot of spark.

The demands of the world are such that the moment you admit you are an introvert much of those around you, from family to friends, start telling you not to be like that. They throw examples of people like whom you should be. They may even go further and start giving you confidence building tips or get you enrolled for a personality development classes and so on and so forth. Why? Because society doesn’t want introverts. There is no place or even if there is, it is just a mediocre place for such sheep. However, there is the whole world for the lion who roars. So, introverts- thumbs down, extroverts- thumbs up.

To go further on the topic like always I would rely on my guiding light Sadhguru who says, “Do not classify people as extrovert or introvert. Every human being has a right to be whichever way they want.” Can it be said any better than these words? Introvert and extrovert are just labels and nothing more invented by the society as per the societal needs and expectations. Based on these labels come judgements that are attached and are then applied to people. For example, label- introvert, judgement- not a pleasant personality, not likely to succeed, loner, not confident, low on self-esteem etc. Let’s see label- extrovert. The likely judgements- agreeable personality, likeable company, smart, confident, undoubtedly will succeed if is not successful already. Haven’t we all been around all these words since our childhood? From very early on, in-fact, we are told to raise hands and speak up even if we give wrong answers. At least the class will not think we are dumb. This thing continues with the years and before we know becomes ingrained in our very fabric. So much so, we start seeing ourselves in the light of all these judgements and start considering them true. Consequently, our own self esteem we place on a weighing scale and keep watching it go up and down. The reality however, stays the same. Labels are just labels. The good thing is they can be dropped. How?

The moment one is peaceful with oneself, being a certain way doesn’t matter. I have always been an introvert, if I have to choose that term considering that is the topic at hand. But, I bet people at my work place would not believe that. They would feel I am exactly the opposite, that is, extrovert. Personally, I don’t like interacting very much with people. I take time to open up and then choose consciously how much of my time and energy I can invest in any social transaction. At the workplace however, the situation demands to be on my toes, motivate the team, talk about what’s bothering them, try solving their problems, asking questions in interviews. I have to interact, interact, interact. So, I take on the role of an extrovert, peacefully, joyfully, consciously. What if someone says I am an introvert? Well, that’s totally his outlook without an iota of effect on my mental peace. It’s people’s judgement which as long as I do not take, they can keep them to themselves. Same goes for all kinds of labels.

It is totally an individual’s choice how does he wish to be. If a person doesn’t feel like interacting much it is absolutely fine. Similarly, if a person feels like mixing up much socially that is totally his outlook. The only thing is people need to be OK with whichever way they are. The universe always has enough providence for each and every being. Even the tiniest of creatures are not worried about making a living. Do not get influenced by labels and the judgements people keep throwing. Live fully, living will happen. So Arijeet, my friend you need to ask yourself. If you are an introvert, are you OK with it? Are you at peace with being a certain way you are, even if it is due to the current lockdown phase? Are you OK being alone? That is the only thing that matters. Am I OK being less interactive? I AM!

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Quotes Corner

If you don’t behave as you believe, you will end by believing as you behave.

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When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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