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Thethirdi https://thethirdi.org/ Thethirdi Sat, 28 Oct 2023 11:09:30 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 7 Effective Ways to Manage Your Time Better https://thethirdi.org/7-effective-ways-to-manage-your-time-better/ https://thethirdi.org/7-effective-ways-to-manage-your-time-better/#respond Sat, 28 Oct 2023 10:49:27 +0000 https://thethirdi.org/?p=759 Ever heard of people saying, every now and then, time is money? Yes? No? If not, then you must definitely have heard people complaining “I don’t have time.” Most people feel lack of time to enjoy that favorite meal, no time to cherish that drive in their favorite car or with their loved ones, time […]

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Ever heard of people saying, every now and then, time is money? Yes? No? If not, then you must definitely have heard people complaining “I don’t have time.” Most people feel lack of time to enjoy that favorite meal, no time to cherish that drive in their favorite car or with their loved ones, time to meet those daunting deadlines. Why is time too hard to find? Have you also ever felt the same? The time crunch! That desperation of having a little extra time that would have made all the difference! Relatable, isn’t it?

The harsh truth is time is an invaluable resource. The harsher truth is it is also limited. No matter how hard anyone wishes a day will only have 24 hours, an hour will have only 60 minutes. Having said that, it must also be kept in mind the picture is not all gloomy. If only you could try becoming a master of your time.  That is all it takes. It may not seem easy at the onset but it is worth trying. Managing your time effectively can significantly impact your productivity and overall quality of life. In a world filled with numerous distractions and demands, it’s essential to master the art of time management.

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”

-W. C. Fields

Just joking!

Let us explore seven effective ways to manage your time better, supported by credible studies and research findings.

1. Prioritize Tasks with the Eisenhower Matrix

The Eisenhower Matrix is a powerful tool that helps you categorize tasks into four quadrants based on their urgency and importance. This framework was named after President Dwight D. Eisenhower, who famously said, “What is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important.”

A study published in the “Journal of Personality and Social Psychology” (Tice & Baumeister, 1997) found that people who set clear priorities were not only more productive but also reported higher levels of life satisfaction. This is where the Eisenhower Matrix shines, as it enables you to identify your most important and non-urgent tasks, which often have a more significant long-term impact on your goals.

2. Implement the Pomodoro Technique

The Pomodoro Technique, developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980s, is a time management method that utilizes short, focused work intervals (typically 25 minutes) followed by a short break. This is really very effective. I have even tried this with my son. Whenever I want him to get reading or practicing his music, I use the Pomodoro Technique and it works well. A study conducted by the Draugiem Group found that the most productive employees worked for an average of 52 minutes, followed by a 17-minute break.

This technique capitalizes on the principle of focused, uninterrupted work, preventing burnout and increasing productivity. By breaking tasks into manageable chunks, the Pomodoro Technique can help you maintain your concentration and manage your time more effectively.

3. Set SMART Goals

Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound (SMART) goals have been a cornerstone of effective time management for decades. A study published in “American Psychologist” (Locke & Latham, 2002) highlights the importance of setting clear, challenging goals in improving task performance.

By applying the SMART criteria to your goals, you can ensure they are well-defined and attainable. This approach helps you stay focused, avoid procrastination, and track your progress, ultimately leading to better time management and goal achievement.

4. Use Technology Wisely

While technology can be a major source of distraction, it can also be a powerful ally in time management. Numerous apps and tools are designed to help you stay organized and maximize your efficiency.

A study published in the “Journal of Experimental Psychology: Human Perception and Performance” (Barak & Rafaeli, 2004) found that participants who multitasked with electronic devices performed significantly worse on cognitive tasks than those who focused on one task at a time. Therefore, it’s crucial to use technology wisely by employing productivity apps, calendars, and time-tracking tools to streamline your work. Be wary of multitasking!

5. Delegate Tasks

Delegation is a critical skill in time management. A study conducted by the London School of Economics and Political Science (Deng, Gibson, & White, 2019) found that individuals who delegate effectively reported reduced stress levels and improved work satisfaction.

Recognize that you don’t have to do everything on your own. Delegating tasks to others, whether at work or in your personal life, allows you to focus on higher-priority activities and helps you manage your time more efficiently.

6. Minimize Decision Fatigue

Decision fatigue refers to the deteriorating quality of decisions made by an individual after a long session of decision making. A study in “Judgment and Decision Making” (Vohs et al., 2008) demonstrated that decision fatigue can lead to impulsive choices and decreased self-control.

To combat decision fatigue and improve your time management, consider simplifying your daily choices. Establish routines, plan your meals, and automate recurring decisions as much as possible. This will free up mental energy for more critical tasks.

7. Learn to Say No

Saying no is a crucial aspect of time management, as it allows you to protect your time and maintain your focus on essential tasks. A study published in the “Journal of Consumer Research” (Berger et al., 2008) explored the psychology of decision-making and found that people often struggle with saying no due to the fear of missing out or hurting someone’s feelings.

By learning to say no when necessary, you can prevent over committing and ensure that your time is spent on activities aligned with your goals and values.

Time management is a skill that can greatly enhance your productivity and overall well-being. By applying these seven effective strategies, you can take control of your time and lead a more efficient, satisfying life. The Eisenhower Matrix, Pomodoro Technique, SMART goals, technology usage, delegation, minimizing decision fatigue and learning to say no are all powerful tools in your time management toolbox. Try implementing some of these techniques from today, and you’ll be well on your way to a more productive and fulfilling life.

On that note let’s have a look at the story of Sweet Sarah. Sarah was always late to work. No matter how much she tried to be on time, or how many times her boss scolded her she just couldn’t make it. She just couldn’t wake up on time. Her boss said she would be fired if it did not stop. Sarah decided to seek the advice of her doctor. He prescribed her some medication and told her to take one pill before going to sleep. She did and voila! She woke up before the alarm clock sounded and headed into work feeling well rested. Sarah told her boss about the doctor’s prescription and how well it worked. Her boss said, “That is great, Sarah, but where were you yesterday?”

Hope you are not visiting Sarah’s doctor!

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10 Powerful and Effective Ways to Manage Your Anger https://thethirdi.org/10-powerful-and-effective-ways-to-manage-your-anger/ https://thethirdi.org/10-powerful-and-effective-ways-to-manage-your-anger/#respond Sat, 21 Oct 2023 13:13:42 +0000 https://thethirdi.org/?p=746 Let’s talk about an emotion that touches each and everyone of us, from time to time, yet we are not very comfortable talking about it. It is “ANGER”. Anger is a natural emotion. It is one of the 10 tendencies of the mind. Having said that, it must also be kept in mind it is […]

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Let’s talk about an emotion that touches each and everyone of us, from time to time, yet we are not very comfortable talking about it. It is “ANGER”. Anger is a natural emotion. It is one of the 10 tendencies of the mind. Having said that, it must also be kept in mind it is a very strong and powerful emotion. Infact, it just falls one letter short of DANGER. D+ ANGER= DANGER. So, it has to be dealt with very mindfully. Bottling it up inside is not a solution. Venting it out by means of violence, be it of words or actions, is not a genuine response either. How to go about it then? Is there no way that anger can be made manageable? The answer is good news, for anger can not only be managed with consistent and disciplined efforts but one can also get rid of it altogether.

Before moving on with ways to manage your anger, let us have a look at a joke.

Husband: “When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?”
Wife: “I clean the toilet “
Husband: “How does that help?”
Wife: “I use your toothbrush.”

See, managing anger is not that tough either (as long as the other one doesn’t come to know about it J). Infact, anger can be a healthy response to certain situations, but when left unchecked, it can have damaging consequences for your relationships, health, and overall well-being. Learning to manage anger is an essential life skill that can greatly improve your quality of life. Let us now explore ten powerful and effective ways to manage your anger and cultivate emotional resilience.

1. Recognize and Accept Your Anger

The first step in managing anger is to acknowledge its presence. Often, people try to suppress or deny their anger, which can lead to it simmering beneath the surface until it explodes. Instead, make an effort to recognize when you’re feeling angry, and accept it as a valid emotion. Understand that feeling angry is a normal response to certain situations, and it’s okay to feel that way. Sometimes, some scenario may demand you to be angry. The idea then is to act angry by not really being angry. Remember, how all your big, favorite actors look angry on screen? Act angry when life demands. Don’t be.

2. Practice Deep Breathing

Deep breathing techniques are a simple yet effective way to manage anger in the heat of the moment. When you start to feel anger rising, take a moment to pause and focus on your breath. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat this process several times. Deep breathing helps calm the physiological response to anger and allows you to think more clearly. This is Yogic Breathing. You can also try other breathing techniques like Balloon Breathing, Candle Breathing, Hissing Breathing which are all effective in slowing your system down.

3. Identify Triggers

To manage anger effectively, it’s crucial to identify the specific triggers that make you angry. These triggers can be situational, environmental, or even internal. By understanding what sets you off, you can take proactive steps to avoid or cope with these triggers. Keep a journal to record your anger triggers, and over time, patterns may emerge that can help you better manage your emotions.

4. Use “I” Statements

When expressing your anger or frustration, it’s essential to use “I” statements. For example, instead of saying, “You make me so mad when you’re late,” try saying, “I feel frustrated when you’re late because it disrupts my schedule.” “I” statements help you express your emotions without accusing or blaming others, making it easier for them to understand your perspective and for you to communicate effectively.

5. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a powerful tool for managing anger. It involves being fully present in the moment and observing your thoughts and emotions without judgment. When you’re mindful, you can distance yourself from your anger, allowing you to respond more rationally. Meditation, yoga, and deep breathing exercises are great ways to develop mindfulness and stay in control when anger arises.

6. Take a Time-Out

Sometimes, it’s best to step away from a heated situation. When you feel anger escalating, politely excuse yourself and take a short break. Use this time to cool down and collect your thoughts. A time-out can prevent you from saying or doing something you might regret later. Make sure to communicate your need for a break to the other party involved, so they understand that it’s not about avoiding the issue but rather about handling it more effectively.

7. Practice Problem-Solving

Anger often arises when you face a problem or obstacle. Instead of letting anger consume you, use it as a motivational force to find a solution. Analyze the situation, brainstorm potential solutions, and take steps to address the issue. By actively working on problem-solving, you can transform anger into a constructive force for change.

8. Engage in Physical Activity

Physical activity is a fantastic way to release pent-up anger and stress. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters. Regular physical activity not only helps you manage anger but also promotes overall well-being. Consider activities like jogging, swimming, yoga, or even simply going for a brisk walk to channel your anger into something productive.

9. Seek Professional Help

If anger issues are causing significant problems in your life, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. Therapists, counselors, or anger management classes can provide you with valuable tools and strategies to address and manage your anger effectively. Professional guidance can also help you uncover the underlying causes of your anger and work towards long-term solutions.

10. Cultivate Empathy and Understanding

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. By practicing empathy, you can diffuse anger in both yourself and others. Try to put yourself in the shoes of the person or people who have triggered your anger. Consider their perspective and motivations. Empathy can help you see the bigger picture and foster understanding, making it easier to resolve conflicts and manage your anger.

A Zen student once said to his teacher, “Master, I have an ungovernable temper. Help me get rid of it.” “You have something very strange,” said the teacher. “Show it to me.”

“Right now I cannot show it to you”, replied the student. The master asked, “Why not?” “It arises suddenly”, answered the student. “Then it cannot be your own true nature,” said the teacher.

Remember, how you manage your anger can significantly impact your life. The ten powerful and effective ways discussed in this blog can help you control and channel your anger constructively. With consistent efforts, you can develop the skills needed to manage your anger and lead a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

Remember that anger management is an ongoing process and it’s essential to be patient with yourself as you work to develop these skills. With dedication and practice, you can transform anger into a constructive force that enhances your relationships and overall well-being.

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Oh Secret Santa! Do visit again. https://thethirdi.org/oh-secret-santa-do-visit-again/ https://thethirdi.org/oh-secret-santa-do-visit-again/#respond Sat, 19 Dec 2020 14:14:25 +0000 http://thethirdi.org/?p=608 Christmas is around the corner. Probably that is why the Divine Mother thought of giving me a break from writing on Her name. She’d rather I reflect on the merriment that Christmas brings every year negating the biting chill of the winter season. Her wish is my command. So here I am taking a stroll […]

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Christmas is around the corner. Probably that is why the Divine Mother thought of giving me a break from writing on Her name. She’d rather I reflect on the merriment that Christmas brings every year negating the biting chill of the winter season. Her wish is my command. So here I am taking a stroll down the alleys of nostalgia, laden with fond childhood memories woven around this beautiful festival.

My father had made this a thumb rule that our early education must be completed in convent school. Since he was in a transferrable job, every two years we saw a new school, a new convent and a new church. What seemed a common thread amidst all these was the culture which made me and my brother aware about Christianity and Christmas. There was a lot of pre buzz in our schools around the holy day which found expression through decorations, carol practice, carnival planning and a lot more. The most loveable aspect though for me and my brother was the thought of Santa visiting us. It wasn’t really a thought. It was a belief held strongly. There was no question about it. After all, Santa was our first angel. We used to come home carrying all the excitement that was prolific in the four walls of our school.

Our boundless exhilaration was met with full support at home too. The domestic helpers used to hunt with us the right kind of tree to decorate. Our mother used to provide money for the decoration stuff that was fished from the market. The lighting needed to be in place, so the electrician used to be summoned. Every year we wanted everything to be perfect for Santa. Santa never disappointed us. We changed cities, schools but He was there everytime, every Christmas, bringing us the choicest dainties on the eve, that we discovered every morning. Each discovery added to our cheer. The joy in our hearts was limitless. I used to wonder also at times, how does Santa know we are now in a different city? How does he locate us everytime? I asked my Dad too. He just smiled and said, “He knows.”

One such Christmas eve, I remember I was in grade 8 at that time, I was lying in my bed, wrapped in the warmth of blankets, trying to sleep. I do not know why sleep was elusive that night. Was I too excited that it took a toll on my sleep? Maybe! So I just lay quietly. After some time I heard some sound. It was as if someone was in the room. Whoever it was, there were clear sounds of stuff in the room being moved. My heart took a leap. “Santa!!! It has to be Him. What do I do now? Shall I take a sneak peek? Shall I try waking up my brother? Is it just my imagination?” A multitude of thoughts kept running my mind. The sounds were still there. I finally decided to have a look by just removing my blanket a little. This was a lifetime chance to meet Santa and I was not ready t let it pass. I looked.

The peek that I took shook me to the core. My jaws dropped. My heart sank. My eyes welled up. I still lay in silence though. I saw my Dad moving around the room, hiding things here and there, striving to make as less sound as possible. Seeing him there gave birth to another barrage of questions in my mind. Was it all a lie? Was it ‘him’ every time? Or just this time Santa could not come, that is why Papa did it for Him? These and many other pop ups made sure I stay awake for the rest of the night. In the morning, my brother was jumping and asking me to go hunting for our stuff. I did not want to do it. He continued to plead so I told him okay and followed him. He kept looking for candies, chocolates money and I just tried to smile whenever he showed me up a new find. My heart was screaming but I didn’t want to say anything to him. I thought he still ‘believes’. Why take away his belief from him? My Dad too asked why am I not looking for things. I did not look him the eye and just said I do not feel like. I felt like my innocence has been taken away while my brother was still naïve. That Christmas I stopped believing!

Years after now when I look back I see it completely in different light. Now that I am myself a mother of a seven years old, Christmas has again started ringing bells. Wasn’t my Dad my secret Santa always? The one who believed with us, the one who made sure our belief sees fruition every year. He took care of our joy woven around this time of the year. He had enough respect for our sentiments and our emotions. And I respect him for that, I love him for that. Having said that, I still wonder why once grown up we stop believing? Isn’t believing in fairy tales a good thing? They are all pregnant with wisdom on how this life has to be lived. Why growing up makes us disbelieve all that wisdom and makes us believe that ‘things don’t work out like that’. While I continue to wonder at these questions, this Christmas I wish to gift my son the ability to believe. I wish that he continues to fancy how Santa actually looks. I wish he continues to fly high with his wings of imagination and innocence. I wish him and everyone a really Merry Christmas!

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9 Powerful Mantra Chants to Improve your Mental Wellness https://thethirdi.org/9-powerful-mantra-chants-to-improve-your-mental-wellness/ https://thethirdi.org/9-powerful-mantra-chants-to-improve-your-mental-wellness/#respond Sat, 10 Oct 2020 14:37:04 +0000 http://thethirdi.org/?p=518 Today is Mental Wellness Day and here are my two cents for you with a sincere hope that you benefit from them. Out of the several things that I have been blessed with in this life, one of them is chanting. Earlier I used to do it only as a part of my devotional exercise […]

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Today is Mental Wellness Day and here are my two cents for you with a sincere hope that you benefit from them. Out of the several things that I have been blessed with in this life, one of them is chanting. Earlier I used to do it only as a part of my devotional exercise but ever since I started using the Black Lotus App, chanting has become my best buddy. I have been devoting certain time daily now to my chanting for more than a year, thanks to Black Lotus for making it so simple.

Mantras are positive energy laden words that have the power to reprogram your mind, break patterns that disturb you and make you more mindful and aware. Chanting helps you to cope better with the ever bustling 21st century world that apparently results in stress, anxiety and depression. What happens if someone says unpleasant things to you? You either get filled with anger or sink into gloom. Why? Simply because unpleasant and bad words come rushing towards your ears with negative energy. On the other hand, positive words are elevating. Your entire being feels uplifted when someone says nice words to you. Today, even modern science and neuroscientists have started admitting the beneficial effects of chants on the overall mental wellness.  There are even cases to show that with increased mindfulness certain chronic ailments can be taken care of.

Chanting is as old as the probably the world is, especially in Hinduism. Having said that, chanting has known to exist in several other cultures around the globe as well. Mantras are pure sounds that have a frequency of their own. When chanted regularly with the right spirit they can bring about self transformation. Chanting also is a way to express your gratitude, compassion and connect with higher consciousness. It goes on gradually to check the ten tendencies of the mind which pull you down. These tendencies are desire, anger, greed, attachment, ego, passion, jealousy, fear, hated and shame. Chanting makes you more mindful of these tendencies and helps you to deal with them better. It has a soothing effect on a restless mind. It induces calm and makes you a more peaceful being. Not only this, chanting also has positive effects for your entire family. As said earlier, chanting has its own frequency and it armors not only the one doing it but also the entire place where it is done. I have seen the positive effects of chanting in my own house for my husband and my son. You need to try to see for yourself.

How to go about it? Which mantra to pick? Well, to make things easier for you here is a list of Mantras from which you can pick and just start chanting.

1. Om Namah Shivaya

Om Namah Shivaya. Literally the mantra means “I bow down to Shiva”. Who is Shiva? Shiva means that which is not. This in turn means Shiva is someone who cannot be perceived, atleast not with the five senses. He is the supreme consciousness. So the chant means “I bow down to the Supreme Consciousness” . Shiva is the Supreme Father. He is the one who is innocent and in His innocence has known to confer even such boons on His devotees which have put Him in trouble. He is Bhola. He gets pleased simply. He is Ashutosh. Connect your SELF with the Highest SELF by this simple mantra chanting.

2. Hare Krishna Maha Mantra

This is another simple but great mantra to chant. The mantra goes as “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare.” It is a call out to the Universal Consciousness who is Krishna, who is also Rama. Through this mantra we beseech the Lord to take care of all aspects of our life. We pray to the Ultimate to keep us fed, protected and pleased forever in the Lord’s service. This maha mantra is chanted a lot in kirtans and satsangs and gained a lot of popularity in the Bhakti movement. Chant and immerse yourself in Bhakti.

3. Om Namo Bhagwate Vasudevaya  

It is a twelve syllable age old mantra dedicated to Lord Vishnu. Bhagwan Vishnu as per the Hindu tradition is the one who takes care of the entire world. He is the caretaker of all that is living and non living. He is the source of all providence. He is the one who provides bare necessities to unsurpassed wealth both material and spiritual. Om means the Universal Spirit, Namo means salutations, Bhagwate means Lord, Vasudevaya means the divinity that is in every being. Literally the mantra “Om Namo Bhagwate Vasudevaya” means “I bow down to the ever merciful and compassionate Lord who resides in every being”. Supreme  surrender is at the core of this mantra from which stems ultimate liberation.

4. Gayatri Mantra

Gayatri Mantra is another powerful mantra to connect with higher consciousness and appears in the Rig Veda. Gayatri Mantra is the Vedia Mantra which is considered to be over and above all other vedic mantras. Gayatri mantra is of many kinds but the most common is the Savitur Gayatri Mantra. It goes “Om  Bhūr Bhuvaḥ Svaḥ, Tat Savitur Vareṇyaṃ, Bhargo Devasya Dhīmahi, Dhiyo Yo Naḥ Pracodayāt.” The mantra means that we bow down to the creator of this universe who is none other than Divine Mother and we implore Her to remove the darkness filled inside us and infuse it with light. Several Enlightened Masters have translated Gayatri Mantra to have a deeper understanding of the same. Swami Vivekananda in His translation says, “We meditate on the glory of that Being who has produced this universe; may He enlighten our minds.”

5. Sarve Bhavantu Sukhinah

This is another mantra which with its beautiful meaning induces kindness and empathy towards all sentient beings. The mantra goes “Om Sarve Bhavantu Sukhinah, Sarve Santu Niraamayaah, SarveBhadraanni Pashyantu, Maa Kashcid-Duhkha-Bhaag-Bhavet.” Lietrally the mantra means “May all sentient beings everywhere be happy, May everyone be free from illness and pain, May everybody see that what is auspicious, May there be no one who suffers.” Isn’t that a lovely petition to put forth to the Supreme Consciousness?! Chant this one and sure you can feel the changed vibrations within and around you in few days.

The other mantras that you can pick are :

6. Navarna Mantra

Om Aim Hreem Kleem Chamundaye Viche.”

7. Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra

Aum Tryambakam Yajaamahe Sugandhim Pushtivardhanam, Urvaarukamiva Bandhanaan-Mrityormuksheeya Maamritaat.”

8. Sarva Mangal Maangalye Mantra

Sarva-Manggala-Maanggalye Shive Sarvaartha-Saadhike, Sharannye Tryambake Gauri Naaraayanni Namostute.”

9. Surya Sadhana Mantra

Om Hreeng Asva-Tejasya Adhovaani Svahaa.”

All these Mantras are there in the Black Lotus App with their correct pronunciation to help you better. There is a timer too, so you can choose the duration for how long you wish to chant. Download this life transforming App and reap the immense benefits of chanting, meditation and mindful living.

Read more about the app here – https://www.blacklotus.app/

Or Download the app:

App Store: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/black-lotus/id1225659190

PlayStore: https://play.google.com/store/apps/detailsid=com.rt.pinprickeffect.meditation&hl=en_IN

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10 Powerful and Classic Quotes to Understand your Anger https://thethirdi.org/10-powerful-and-classic-quotes-to-understand-your-anger/ https://thethirdi.org/10-powerful-and-classic-quotes-to-understand-your-anger/#respond Sat, 19 Sep 2020 13:37:13 +0000 http://thethirdi.org/?p=486 Is it possible to be free from anger in the material world? Not quite. Then, is it possible to be angry but not ruin your peace of mind? A big YES. To quote Om Swami, the realized Himalayan Monk and my Spiritual Master, “Anger remains the greatest test of one’s spiritual evolution, patience and wisdom.” […]

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Is it possible to be free from anger in the material world? Not quite. Then, is it possible to be angry but not ruin your peace of mind? A big YES. To quote Om Swami, the realized Himalayan Monk and my Spiritual Master, “Anger remains the greatest test of one’s spiritual evolution, patience and wisdom.” How true is that! But having said that it is also true that anger is one of the strongest tendencies of the mind. Even the beings with years and years of penance and meditation find it hard to stay free from anger. Such is the hold of this tendency on the mind. However, it is a tendency meaning an inclination towards a particular characteristic or type of behaviour. The mind can be trained to look at this tendency in depth and then choose the appropriate response. Anger is always an action. Actions can be chosen mindfully. In professional and personal life it becomes imperative at times to express one’s displeasure over certain things. But how is one doing that is totally in one’s hands. Is one snapping right away with hurtful words the moment something unpleasant happens or is one taking a breather and then choosing to express anger with carefully selected words from the dictionary of the mind? This is all that makes the difference.

It is very important to understand your anger before you get on to deal with it. If you look at it you will find anger has a great deal to do with expectations. Expectations from those working under you, expectations from your child, from your partner, from your parents, expectations even from your domestic help. We are always living in a web of expectations. We feel we have a right towards such and such kind of outcome from all those around us. When they fail to give us such and such outcome anger streams. We have all justifications to anger in our quiver ready to be hurled at whoever asks us the reason for our anger. When we face the anger streaming from someone else’s expectation we suddenly become the victim. In that case too we have a separate set of justifications ready with us. As long as there are expectations it will be difficult, if not impossible, to stay free from anger. Does it mean one should not expect? Well, let us not go into what one should or should not but choosing one’s response mindfully whenever one is having temper tantrums is always something that will not cost one’s peace of mind. Respond, not react. That is the key.

Let us have a look at some classic quotes on anger to comprehend it better

1. “Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.”

-Aristotle

2. “Anger is a valid emotion. It’s only bad when it takes control and makes you do things you don’t want to do.”

-Ellen Hopkins

3. “Anger expressed in a healthy and positive way means that we channel emotional anger towards resolution not attack.”

-Byron R. Pulsifer

4. “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

-Mark Twain

5. “You shouldn’t give circumstances the power to rouse anger, for they don’t care at all.”

-Marcus Aurelius

6. “Do not do to others what angers you if done to you by others.”

-Socrates

7. “Responding to a trying situation with patience and tolerance rather than reacting with anger and hatred involves active restraint, which arises from a strong, self-disciplined mind.”

-Dalai Lama

8. “The best fighter is never angry.”

-Lao Tzu

9. “A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.”

Bruce Lee

10. “See, the question of being angry with somebody does not arise. You are not angry with anybody, you are just angry. Your anger has nothing to do with somebody else. It’s about you. Whether you are angry at a rock, God, your Guru, or whatever – anger is simply anger. It has got nothing to do with anybody or anything.”

-Sadhguru

Here is an enthralling article by Om Swami that talks about the eight stages or layers of anger and compares anger with an onion. Read on to see how the layers can be removed. Have a look and know your anger better.

Eight Stages Of Anger

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How to Break Free from the Clutches of being an Introvert or Extrovert? https://thethirdi.org/how-to-break-free-from-the-clutches-of-being-an-introvert-or-extrovert/ https://thethirdi.org/how-to-break-free-from-the-clutches-of-being-an-introvert-or-extrovert/#respond Sat, 12 Sep 2020 14:29:57 +0000 http://thethirdi.org/?p=464 Arijeet Dey, one of my team members from the SEO team, requested me to share my thoughts on this question. How to break free from the clutches of being an introvert or extrovert? I asked him the reason of such topic and he said due to the pandemic and the lockdown, some people have started […]

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Arijeet Dey, one of my team members from the SEO team, requested me to share my thoughts on this question. How to break free from the clutches of being an introvert or extrovert? I asked him the reason of such topic and he said due to the pandemic and the lockdown, some people have started thinking of themselves as introverts, especially since the social life is all ruined. What does that mean? Does it mean that they had never reflected on it before and thought themselves as quite outward person and due to the lockdown, in the absence of going out they have started feeling like an introvert?

Let us try having a look at why is there a big fuss about being an introvert or extrovert in the first place. Generally speaking, it is due to the shades attached to the 2 words. Introverts are usually seen as people who don’t speak much and do not readily express themselves. They are, therefore, seen as people who are low on confidence. Extroverts, on the other hand, are viewed as much outgoing and confident people. They are considered bold and with a lot of spark.

The demands of the world are such that the moment you admit you are an introvert much of those around you, from family to friends, start telling you not to be like that. They throw examples of people like whom you should be. They may even go further and start giving you confidence building tips or get you enrolled for a personality development classes and so on and so forth. Why? Because society doesn’t want introverts. There is no place or even if there is, it is just a mediocre place for such sheep. However, there is the whole world for the lion who roars. So, introverts- thumbs down, extroverts- thumbs up.

To go further on the topic like always I would rely on my guiding light Sadhguru who says, “Do not classify people as extrovert or introvert. Every human being has a right to be whichever way they want.” Can it be said any better than these words? Introvert and extrovert are just labels and nothing more invented by the society as per the societal needs and expectations. Based on these labels come judgements that are attached and are then applied to people. For example, label- introvert, judgement- not a pleasant personality, not likely to succeed, loner, not confident, low on self-esteem etc. Let’s see label- extrovert. The likely judgements- agreeable personality, likeable company, smart, confident, undoubtedly will succeed if is not successful already. Haven’t we all been around all these words since our childhood? From very early on, in-fact, we are told to raise hands and speak up even if we give wrong answers. At least the class will not think we are dumb. This thing continues with the years and before we know becomes ingrained in our very fabric. So much so, we start seeing ourselves in the light of all these judgements and start considering them true. Consequently, our own self esteem we place on a weighing scale and keep watching it go up and down. The reality however, stays the same. Labels are just labels. The good thing is they can be dropped. How?

The moment one is peaceful with oneself, being a certain way doesn’t matter. I have always been an introvert, if I have to choose that term considering that is the topic at hand. But, I bet people at my work place would not believe that. They would feel I am exactly the opposite, that is, extrovert. Personally, I don’t like interacting very much with people. I take time to open up and then choose consciously how much of my time and energy I can invest in any social transaction. At the workplace however, the situation demands to be on my toes, motivate the team, talk about what’s bothering them, try solving their problems, asking questions in interviews. I have to interact, interact, interact. So, I take on the role of an extrovert, peacefully, joyfully, consciously. What if someone says I am an introvert? Well, that’s totally his outlook without an iota of effect on my mental peace. It’s people’s judgement which as long as I do not take, they can keep them to themselves. Same goes for all kinds of labels.

It is totally an individual’s choice how does he wish to be. If a person doesn’t feel like interacting much it is absolutely fine. Similarly, if a person feels like mixing up much socially that is totally his outlook. The only thing is people need to be OK with whichever way they are. The universe always has enough providence for each and every being. Even the tiniest of creatures are not worried about making a living. Do not get influenced by labels and the judgements people keep throwing. Live fully, living will happen. So Arijeet, my friend you need to ask yourself. If you are an introvert, are you OK with it? Are you at peace with being a certain way you are, even if it is due to the current lockdown phase? Are you OK being alone? That is the only thing that matters. Am I OK being less interactive? I AM!

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How to Understand and Deal with Your Fear? https://thethirdi.org/how-to-deal-with-your-fear/ https://thethirdi.org/how-to-deal-with-your-fear/#respond Sat, 05 Sep 2020 14:18:56 +0000 http://thethirdi.org/?p=459 Last week in the wee hours of the morning I had a dream. There was a mighty tiger I saw. Not a zoo tiger or a circus tiger, a real wild mighty beauty of nature. And it was crouching towards me. My heart skipped a beat. The adrenaline rush gave the usual 2 choices- ‘Flight […]

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Last week in the wee hours of the morning I had a dream. There was a mighty tiger I saw. Not a zoo tiger or a circus tiger, a real wild mighty beauty of nature. And it was crouching towards me. My heart skipped a beat. The adrenaline rush gave the usual 2 choices- ‘Flight or Fight’. I knew for sure I can’t run faster than the beast. His per hour speed limit beats mine extremely. So no point running. Flight was out. I thought of the second option. Fight?! But hey, have a look at the opponent first. Can I really fight the tiger? My good sense prevailed and fight as an option was also out.

So I just thought perhaps this is what the Divine wish is. This is what it is. I just lay flat on my tummy and began chanting my mantra. Just with this thought that if this life has to end let it end with the Divine name on my lips. Atleast the tiger would have a belly full. Some purpose this life will fulfill even if it is by being someone’s meal. As I kept chanting, the beast came closer and closer. Soon enough I could hear the sniffs all over and could smell the raw meaty odour from all over his face. Sweat kept tricking, I kept chanting for what seemed an era but may have been just a couple of minutes. Then the beast turned and walked away in the jungle from where it came. Just like that. At first I didn’t believe my eyes. I thought it may just turn and come back for me. But when I saw him disappear in the thick of the forest I knew it’s gone. I thanked the Divine profusely. It was like all my senses have just been infused with a new freshness.

When I woke up I tried to reflect on it. I found the tiger was nothing but fear. Come to think of it, isn’t that true. Isn’t the tiger our fear. What does it do? It eats you up. Totally. No matter what is its magnitude. Its very tendency is to cripple. Be it small or big, fear cripples and absolute fear cripples absolutely. It keeps gnawing at you from the inside. To quote Sadhguru, “As long as you’re identified as a physical body, as long as your experience of life is limited to your physical and mental faculties, fear and insecurity are inevitable… Only when a person begins to experience himself beyond the limitations of his physical body and mind, then this person can become free from insecurity and fear.”

Going back to the dream, my fear was very much real so long as I was thinking about life being bound by this body. I kept thinking of options like running away or fighting to save this body. But when I saw deeper I knew fear won’t end by pursuing such options. On the contrary, fear would consume me to the last bit. When I thought of life beyond this physical body I surrendered myself and the fear too, to the Divine. Isn’t Divine the source of all life be it that of a tiny worm or a human being? And it is when I surrendered that I felt liberated. I felt freedom from fear. In my acceptance of my fear lay my emancipation.

One cannot deal with fear without having an understanding of it. And to understand it one has to first accept it. Every fear is like a seed capable of becoming a giant tree if it is mishandled by running from it or resisting it. To uproot the weed you need to get to the root. You need to understand that life is beyond this body and not confined to this body. You need to be mindful of all your fears. You need to have a look at them and see whether they are still a seed or a small plant or have turned into trees already. And above all you need to ACCEPT! Just the way they are. Only then you can address them appropriately. Will you give someone a pill for headache if the person is having stomach ache? No. Fears also have their own strategy to be properly addressed. Small fears require less effort than bigger ones. So first accept and then address. 

To sum it up, you can’t run from it, you can’t fight it, you can’t resist it, you can’t ignore it. What is the best that you can do? Just accept it. The way it is and surrender to the Ultimate. It will walk away on its own. Isn’t it better than fear to eat you up? What say?

Here is an interesting article by Om Swami, the Realized Himalayan Mystic to know the source of all fears and how they can be overcome. Read on and understand your fears better – https://os.me/the-source-of-fear/

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12 Influential Tips to Memorize Chantings https://thethirdi.org/12-influential-tips-to-memorize-chantings/ https://thethirdi.org/12-influential-tips-to-memorize-chantings/#respond Sat, 29 Aug 2020 14:13:53 +0000 http://thethirdi.org/?p=441 It’s an individual thing when it comes to memorizing long chants. Just from my experience of memorizing the Rudram, Chamakam, Vishnu and Lalita Sahasranamam, the Gita, and many other chants, it’s about discipline and practice. The chant must consume you. It should be the foremost thing on your mind. That’s the first requirement. This usually […]

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It’s an individual thing when it comes to memorizing long chants. Just from my experience of memorizing the Rudram, Chamakam, Vishnu and Lalita Sahasranamam, the Gita, and many other chants, it’s about discipline and practice. The chant must consume you. It should be the foremost thing on your mind. That’s the first requirement. This usually happens on its own, where the chant calls to us, and not the other way around. Whenever I’ve tried to learn something without being called to it, it has been even more challenging and usually slips right out of the memory bank.

Here are some tips:

  1. Find a good recording, with the correct pronunciation. It’s even more critical for Vedic chants because of the rules of chanting. Otherwise it’s a case of the blind leading the blind. Can’t over-emphasize this.

  2. Split up a long chant into smaller parts. Say you’re learning the Rudram. Use a recorder app on your phone (I have one that’s called Voice Notes that is fantastic for this purpose) that can change the speed of the recorded bit. Record what you think is your capacity to memorize – say half an anuvaka of the Rudram or even less. Record the whole chant in these smaller bits.

  3. Print out the bits separately so you’ll have many separate pieces of paper with the sections you’re working on.

  4. Keep the one you’re memorizing close – in your pocket. 🙂

  5. Listen to the chant while reading the lyrics. Slow down the speed to get the correct pronunciation, the inflections and so on.

  6. Repeat on your own. Listen again. Repeat. Again and again. And again.

  7. The method that works for me is to learn verse one, and then when I memorize verse two, to go back and chant verses one and two so that I get the continuity. So if you get to verse 25, go back and chant 1-25. That’s the way to ensure you go smoothly from verse to verse.

  8. Listen to the chant (or at least the bit) while falling asleep at night. Listen to again first thing in the morning. It gets embedded in your subconscious mind (which is why the correct pronunciation and method of chanting are crucial – very hard to undo this once learned the wrong way).

  9. Practice! Chant while showering, driving, cooking, exercising… 🙂

  10. Record yourself chanting and take notes – did you miss an anusvara? Did you pronounce a hrsva svara as a dhirga, and so on… correct them and record again.

  11. Once you’ve learned the whole chant, it’s time to fine tune – get back to the beginning and correct all the minor issues (point above).

  12. Now is the time to focus on the meaning of the words as you chant it. Without the bhavana, the chant is not really all that useful. So, make the effort to study it, and meditate on the meaning. See what happens when you say, “Om Namo Bhagavate Rudraya!” Your whole being will begin to vibrate…

You’ll know you “have” it when it flows like oil being poured steadily into a container – the entire mind is concentrated on the flow of the chant and the world ceases to exist. This is where the magic begins. You’ll often find you are out of the body, the chant being the vehicle for an incredible expansion of perception.

Have fun with it! <3 Happy Chanting!

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Ways to Understand and Deal with Stress https://thethirdi.org/ways-to-understand-and-deal-with-stress/ https://thethirdi.org/ways-to-understand-and-deal-with-stress/#respond Sat, 22 Aug 2020 13:46:21 +0000 http://thethirdi.org/?p=414 I was wondering what topic to write on, so I just asked one of my co-worker for suggestions. Pop came the word ‘stress’. So thanks Anjali Tyagi, this one is for you. Stress has become a common jargon these days. More like a fad. You keep hearing it everywhere and from almost everyone. A kid […]

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I was wondering what topic to write on, so I just asked one of my co-worker for suggestions. Pop came the word ‘stress’. So thanks Anjali Tyagi, this one is for you. Stress has become a common jargon these days. More like a fad. You keep hearing it everywhere and from almost everyone. A kid has stress because of his studies, a teenage is having it because no one is able to understand him/ her, a graduate is having it because he doesn’t know if he will be employed, couples are in stress because they don’t know whether their love will see the light, parents are stressed because they feel their kids are not making right life-work decisions, employers are stressed because they feel their team is not taking the work seriously, the employees are stressed because they think the boss doesn’t take them to be humans and the story goes on. Everyone has their own reasons for their stress. No matter where you go, it is there with you like a constant pal. You just can’t escape it. It has become so customary that a person without stress is not even taken to be normal, if that is not an exaggeration. Is it possible for one to remain stress free then? Well before we get to the answers as to how it is possible, let us get to the root of stress and try comprehending it better.

Great men and Realized Masters have said volumes on stress so that people can understand it better. Sadhguru says, “Stress is not a part of your life. It is not nature of work that you are doing which is causing stress. It is just that you have no control over your systems. That is why you are stressful. You don’t know how to function smoothly within yourself. That is why you are stressful”. What does that mean? It simply means that we have attributed plethora of reasons outside of us causing stress inside of us. It also means that we are not in a position to use our faculties to handle situations in our life. We always stay in an imaginary world and think if such and such things happen, we will be stress free and at peace. The truth however, is such imaginary place stays only in imagination. It has nothing to do with reality which is in taking charge of one’s own systems like mind and intellect and dealing with the situations at hand. Procrastination won’t help. It will only make matters worse. Playing the victim too won’t be of any use. The solution lies in understanding that one is capable of handling any situation be it at workplace or personal life with the instruments that make every human unique; human mind and human intellect. Command them and use them to your own benefit. Currently the reverse is happening. To quote Sadhguru again “You have to make that sink deep into you that you are the source of your misery, you are the source of your Joy, nobody else, nobody else at all, nothing else at all but you.” Take charge! Solution lies in right action.

Diving deeper while looking at stress we need to understand what is it that we are doing in our lives and why? Let’s say if you are in a job that you love then why are you stressful? If you don’t love what you are doing, then you need to figure out what it is that you love doing. No one can and will do that for you. If you give this to be answered by someone else chances are you will again fall into the vicious trap. Buddha says, “Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.” The sooner you find your purpose the better it is for it is not time slipping but it is life that is slipping away constantly. If you love your job and you are still stressful it means you need to have a tight look at your devotion. Work pressure will always be there. Deadlines will always be haunting. But that doesn’t mean that these things must trigger something undesirable like stress which you don’t want in your system. If it is a relationship that is causing stress, then again you have to ask yourself sincere questions as to how you can give your one hundred percent to fix the unfixed. Blame game will not get you anywhere. No situation is worth taking a toll on your mental peace. Spend time with yourself and figure out your things and situations. Figure out your life. Find out what is important and dear to you and keep your passion up for it. For what is love-able in your life can’t be a cause of stress. Inculcate some self-discipline in your life and stay sorted. Sadhguru says, “There are only two types of people: Mystics and Mistakes.” You alone can decide which category you are into. It is a beautiful and precious life not worth creating stress. For all of it is self created.

If you wish to create then why not something wonderful? Go for it!

Om Swami, the Himalayan Mystic, a Realized Master and an author of several bestsellers has thrown light on how to deal with stress at length. Go on and read in detail how you can take charge of your life and how you can better deal with your self-created stress. Here is the link https://os.me/dealing-with-stress/

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15 Meaningful and Timeless Quotes to Understand Death https://thethirdi.org/15-meaningful-and-timeless-quotes-to-understand-death/ https://thethirdi.org/15-meaningful-and-timeless-quotes-to-understand-death/#respond Sat, 15 Aug 2020 14:18:43 +0000 http://thethirdi.org/?p=257 On Monday the 10th of August, 2020 the creative head of my company and her family met an immense loss when her father passed away. The loss got incredibly magnified as some 6 years back her mother had also gone into the realm of another world. I received the news through a WhatsApp message seeing […]

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On Monday the 10th of August, 2020 the creative head of my company and her family met an immense loss when her father passed away. The loss got incredibly magnified as some 6 years back her mother had also gone into the realm of another world. I received the news through a WhatsApp message seeing which I called her to express my condolence. She was totally shaken and in a pool of tears. I had absolutely no idea what to say. Words faltered me. I so wished to somehow make her feel a little OK but failed to do so. I prayed for the departed soul and for the bereaved family and the whole day dwelt on DEATH.

Almost all of us must have thought about it, more or less. But as soon as the thought comes to us normally we try to put it aside. We don’t wish to think deep over it. Maybe yes, maybe no! But we fail to see when is it that death is not happening? Isn’t it happening right from the moment we are born? Every second we are nearing it. Just getting closer to it. It is a truth we cannot ignore even if we don’t wish to think about it. Our fear of death and losing everything dear to us is so strong that we simply don’t wish to ponder over it. Yet no matter how hard we try death will get us one day. It always gets everyone. Not sooner, not later, just at the time of it. So is death truly to be feared? Well, let us give our perspective a shift. What if I say death is always close to us and not a distant thing? With every new breath life is happening and with every breathe out death. One of the reasons why almost all Realized Masters have highlighted the importance of conscious and mindful breathing.

Let us look at death closely through these timeless quotes –

1. “If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character, would you slow down? Or speed up?”

– Chuck Palahniuk

2. “Fear of death is ridiculous, because as long as you are not dead you are alive, and when you are dead there is nothing more to worry about!”

– Paramahansa Yogananda

3. “If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them.”

—James O’Barr

4. “Tell your friend that in his death, a part of you dies and goes with him. Wherever he goes, you also go. He will not be alone.”

– Jiddu Krishnamurti

5. “Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides”.

– Lao Tzu

6. “If you don’t know how to die, don’t worry; Nature will tell you what to do on the spot, fully and adequately. She will do this job perfectly for you; don’t bother your head about it.”

– Montaigne

7. “Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time… It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other”.

– Leo Buscaglia

8. “People fear death even more than pain. It’s strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over.

– Jim Morrison

9. “One clings to life although there is nothing to be called life; another clings to death although there is nothing to be called death. In reality, there is nothing to be born; consequently, there is nothing to perish.”

– Buddha

10. “Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.”

– Henry Scott Holland

11. “Death is the dropping of the flower that the fruit may swell.”

– Henry Ward Beecher

12. “What is lovely never dies, but passes into other loveliness.”

– Thomas Bailey

13. “Man cannot possess anything as long as he fears death. But to him who does not fear it, everything belongs.”

– Leo Tolstoy

14. “The only reason why people have such a fear of death is they know nothing beyond the body.”

– Sadhguru

15. “Nothing is dying, nothing is taking rebirth. Don’t let the illusion fool you. Matter is merely being transformed. Water evaporates, and it rains back down again. Everything in the play of nature remains part of the game — eternally.”

– Om Swami

Life exists. So does death. And it is good that is the way it is. Think of a life which has no end. How would it look like to see every dear thing pass on in front of one’s eyes and one is just living on and on. Death is the truth. Life is a mystery. Take life gracefully. Take death gracefully. We will die to the fullest. So why not live life to the fullest? Do not fear death. Everything passes. The fear shall pass. We too shall pass!

To understand death more deeply here is an amazing blog by The Master Himself. Read on – How to overcome the fear of Death

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